Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Safety First

Negotiating consent

http://www.scarleteen.com/article/boyfriend/drivers_ed_for_the_sexual_superhighway_navigating_consent

Using Barriers

http://www.scarleteen.com/article/advice/all_the_barriers_all_the_time
 

RACK
http://voices.yahoo.com/bdsm-101-ssc-safe-sane-consensual-vs-rack-risk-1803305.html

Anatomy and the hotness of Brains

Health information has been a long standing source of strife within feminist communities partially because due to each of our places in society, and personal desires, &frequently our unwillingness to admit our own privileges where there exist. We have different needs and addressing our needs is always a deeply personal and political act.  The erotic is a resource within each of us that lies in a deeply female and spiritual plane, firmly rooted in the power of our unexpressed or unrecognized feeling. In order to perpetuate itself, every oppression must corrupt or distort those various sources of power within the culture of the oppressed that can provide energy for change. For women, this has meant a suppression of the erotic as a considered source of power and information within our lives.”  We have been taught to suspect this resource, vilified, abused, and devalued within western society. On the one hand, the superficially erotic has been encouraged as a sign of female inferiority; on the other hand, women have been made to suffer and to feel both contemptible and suspect by virtue of its existence.”- Audre Lorde  Sexual pleasure has always been one of these needs which most desperately desires addressing. So many of us grew up without really understanding how our own bodies work. For those of us who didn't get a good sex ed class here are several excellent resources.

People with clitorises
I cannot stress how cool and important it is to see how big your clit actually is
and Betty Dodson here can show you
The Internal Clitoris 

Cliteracy the art exhibit

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/08/28/cliteracy_n_3823983.html

To keep your stuff in working order seeing a doc annually  is imperative.No matter what your gender if you have a vagina or a uterus you need an exam. Don't worry, I've listed low cost, transfriendly, and queer friendly resources on the health resources page, and I've checked with friends
How to have a gynecological exam 

The pervocracy's guide to the big O
how do you masturbate?
Female anatomy
what's up with painful intercourse?
my corona-the anatomy formerly known as the hymen the myths that surround it
http://www.scarleteen.com/article/politics/magical_cups_bloody_brides_virginity_in_context
 

Mostly people with penises got covered better in our classes back in school, largely because medical science has been treating white cis men as the baseline since  until sometime in the mid 1980's when they "discovered" that the sex organs aren't the only  processes that work differently.

For example women typically have different heart attacks symptoms,different stress symptoms, and different common health issues. African Americans typically have higher cancer and heart disease rates. The difficulty is in figuring to reduce the systemic inequality that causes much of this and how to identify genuine heritable issues so we can treat them early. That said, how are you supposed to really feel whole or really understand yourself if you don't know your own body? How can you enjoy your body as a whole?  How can you tell another person what you  like?  Mostly what they missed for you guys is covered in the 'for everybody section' but that said please pick up a copy of Anal Pleasure and Health by Jack Morin and Down There press and then look aroun Scarleteen for a refresher if needed...It's good fun. 
things you didnt know about your penis
male sexual anatomy
For Everybody
Ask your partner, or yourself what you like
http://www.scarleteen.com/article/body/with_pleasure_a_view_of_whole_sexual_anatomy_for_every_body 
10 reasons to use condoms 

Disabilities- temporary or permanent

resources for the nerdy: sex geeks, womanists , feminists, and kinksters


Geeking is all about knowing what you like, who you like, how you like, and when it's not what you like...but like all things worth some time you will either spend year searching or you will have to research.

Here's a few years worth of research , ready and waiting for you...
Womanist Blogs and Intersectional feminist blogs to get you started

 My favorite....tigerbeatdown of Flavia Dzodan my feminism will be intersectional or it will be bullshit fame.

we happy trans 

everydayfeminism.com

Batty Mamzelle 

the pervocracy

 http://transequality.org/

http://www.sexandculture.org

scarleteen- the best safer sex resource out there 


http://www.blackandpink.org/
feminist porn awards 
how do youm masturbate?
http://www.girleffect.org/explore/breaking-the-cycle-of-violence-against-girls/why-redefining-masculinity-is-the-key-to-preventing-violence-against-girls/


http://susiebright.blogs.com
http://socialistaction.org/2013/01/purity-myth-hurts-young-women/purity myth 
The problematic but still frequently point having feministing.com 
 
Advice, instructions, toys, and videos
Early to Bed -sex advice, classes, the 35$ toy party,female and male friendly toy shopping, trans and queer friendly, the best toys ever, legitimate reviews, mail order, 4$ indie porn rentals and a velvet vulva puppet.
Oh joy Sex toy- a cartoon sex toy review

good for her feminist porn award winners

POLY STUFF
http://polykinkyqueeradvice.tumblr.com/ -Good even if you are not poly kinky or queer

http://www.morethantwo.com/polyamory.html

http://www.meetup.com/Chicago-Polyamory/



BOOKS- dozens more to be added soon
Whole Lesbian Sex Book Celis Press

Carol Queen’s Real Live Nude Girl: Chronicles of Sex-Positive Culture
Whipping Girl: A Transsexual Woman on Sexism
The Scapegoating of Femininity by Julia Serrano
Sex Motherhood and Cherry Pie by Susie Bright.
Transgender Workbook-Kate Bornstein-It is my opinion that everyone should read this book in 6th grade or so to reduce the prevalence of becoming flaming a-holes at this age.
Excluded- Julia Serano
Most of these are available through Chicago Public Libraries ,or if you are so inclined at Gerber-Hart Library and Archive 

kink
https://fetlife.com/- social media for the kinky


https://ncsfreedom.org/





the assumption of consent (and health resources)

Two factors tend to correlate with sexualised abuse and domestic violence: 1. Subordination in society. 2. Assumption of hypersexuality.  Women of color  receive much higher levels of physical abuse and sexual violence. Trans people have even higher violence rates than bi folks. Is it that we all are seen as non 'standard' not cis, not white, not male and therefore 'different', not real. Our lives are seen as more expendable. Our visible difference is in the way we are  gazed at, we are assumed to always want it, or to be unworthy of deciding for ourselves if we want sex. Our pleasure, our health, our sanity is secondary. Unfortunately these attitudes sometimes penetrate all of our self love campaigns. The constant barrage of sex on everyone's terms but our own tunes many of us out of our own comfort with our bodies. When other people are staring it doesn't feel safe and it probably isn't. We  continue to see an erasure of coverage around how black women, working class,queer, and gender variant women (and some men)have been fetishized and how this may limit public presentations of or comfort with displaying overt sexuality.Here's some food for thought, resources, and places to rail and to heal.


Therapy/recovery resources- allof the resources on here are free or low cost 

http://www.scarleteen.com/article/crisis/dealing_with_rape

 http://www.rapevictimadvocates.org/

www.Clitoraid.org
Thanks to the awesome research done in the last 15 years on the enormity of clitorises sensation reconstruction surgery and emotional wellbeing therapies are available for many people who have undergone FGM and Intersex modification surgeries.   
PFLAG -So they are a little stodgy, but really without these guys I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be here. As a 15 year old baby-bi In Nebraska (in the  pre broke folks with internet years) I stealthily swiped a copy each of their pamphlets from planned parenthood to casually leave around our apt. I read them first. The gift-wrapping information alone probably saved me lots of troubles. It also let me know that I wasn't alone. Then it let my mom know she wasn't either. That's worth a lot.

http://www.chicagocounseling.org/
Broadway Youth Center- clothes, counseling and healthcare for 12-24 year olds

Health Care
Community Health free healthcare for low income people -
I have to say these guys are awesome. They tend to be ignorant of trans stuff, polystuff and bi stuff but the volunteers have been very respectful and willing to learn on all fronts..and free healthcare when you need it is a blessing.
http://chicagohispanichealthcoalition.org/
http://www.chicagowomenshealthcenter.org/ queer friendly sliding scale gyno,and good paps

Sex Worker Resources


Housing resources and domestic violence resources
trans* housing network
Illinois domestic violence centers
State of il Dept of Human Services.

Violence trackers
trans violence tracker project
bisexual women twice as likely to be abused and or raped study says